Five Differences Between A Boss Leader And A Bossy Leader
A leader is often described as someone who inspires through their own actions. They’re a role model of expectations and behavior. But what does that look like in the concrete everyday?
Daily operations can get in the way of that idyllic image and the desire for the leader to be a mentor as well as a motivating force. After trying some heavy leadership frameworks, leaders may find themselves wondering who has time for this aspirational duty, especially when they’re struggling to make payroll, just lost a large client or had their best customer service agent leave to go work for the competition.
Except that, during difficult times — perhaps even especially during difficult times — the leader has to step into that shepherd position. Morale is likely already suffering. Stressors are probably very high. The need for a boost and unifying force becomes that much more indispensable.
It becomes essential for leaders to make time to be able to not only keep that invaluable resource that is their team, but to help them thrive under potentially soul-crushing conditions. It is the team members’ dedication, ideas, drive and accomplishments that can help turn around a disastrous situation.
Even though there is a lot more to leadership than just the following, these differences show what distinguishes a boss leader from a bossy leader — all while making a huge difference in a team member’s work life.
Praising Quickly And Honestly
Very few people don’t like to hear what they’re doing well. Even some less-stellar members cannot be doing everything wrong all the time. If so, perhaps their status at the company should be revisited. A boss leader trains themselves to notice things people do well — and shares that with the person concerned. It’s important that the praise be honest, though. Fake praise will quickly become apparent and will destroy the credibility of any genuine praise that might be given down the road. It will also help balance out constructive criticism and the way it is received.
Getting Comfortable With Conflict
Early on in leadership careers — and sometimes throughout entire careers — there are those who fear conflict. There is a world of difference between the all-out-brawl, screaming-and-throwing-things type of conflict and dropping-hints-hoping-for-mind-reading type of avoidance. Disagreements, divergence in points of views, frustration with results or execution can all be OK. As long as both parties present their facts and arguments from a place of expertise and rational persuasion, disagreements can be useful conflict. This starts with the boss leader who sets the tone in these back-and-forth discussions and actively listens to the varying opinions.
Resisting The Urge To Overhaul Every Idea
There will be times when team members have better ideas than their leaders. Even boss leaders. It’s OK. That’s part of why team members are so valuable. Bossy leaders tend to feel threatened if they don’t come up with all the ideas, all the time. They mistakenly believe that if others — especially those reporting to them — have stronger ideas, it makes them less of a leader. But a boss leader knows how to nurture a team to produce the best ideas. Sure, there will be times when the boss leader’s confidence might be shaken or they feel the weight of a mistake. But they don’t feel the need to constantly rewrite, overhaul or erase all trace of a team member’s fabulous idea in favor of their own potentially mediocre one. They happily recognize their team’s contribution and tweak what is needed — only if truly needed.
Providing An Appropriate Guiding Hand
There are times when someone requires step-by-step, detailed explanations of how to accomplish a certain task. A boss leader trains themselves to recognize the symptoms associated with someone needing that level of management versus someone in need of clear deliverables, expectations and direction. Constantly providing everyone with highly detailed steps for all tasks crosses the line into micromanagement.
Communicating Real Deadlines
Bossy leaders can be tempted to tell their team members that they require a certain task completed right away simply because they would like it done without delay. This may increase productivity for a short while until the team members realize that this is a preference and not a necessity. Then, should a real emergency occur — where something that doesn’t get done right away could negatively impact the business —the team members will assume that it’s just more of the same. This tends to create resistance. Any justification and attempt to prove the true urgency will also likely be believed as part of a pattern of behavior. A boss leader is truthful about requests and works with the team on when it makes sense to make it a priority and when it can be planned for a later date.
When trying to determine whether they are acting like a boss or they’re just plain bossy, most leaders have to keep in mind that the goal isn’t mere compliance or even coercion, but rather collaboration. There are some environments and circumstances that require rigidity, but even in those, there may still be some room to inspire and gain commitment willfully. A team under a boss leader thrives and is committed to the mission of the company. Both the work environment and business are better for it. The members are happier and more dedicated to supporting their leader through pivots and hardships.
Originally appeared on Forbes Business Council.
